SUPER AMBIGOUS BLOG POST!
i did a really horrible job at fooling myself into thinking that i shook myself of my romanticist notions.
but, in the end, i don’t think i ever wanted to lose them.
this life is so surreal.
this pace of life is incredibly wonderful, but endlessly maddening at the same time. i am one for reflection, and there isn’t much of a home for that this year. i am still adjusting and recognizing the perspectival shifts of the fowler dynasty happening in me today, leaving me completely behind in being aware of how denmark is molding me and pushing me in directions a consisently bottled life at cal poly never could.
this rejection is difficult for me, but after some struggle, i can’t help but feel indescribably alive. i can’t gauge myself for the moment, so i’m leaving the speed radar to collect dust in the closet. call it cliche and i’ll agree with you, but i can’t diminish the fact that in this past month i feel like i’ve smuggled some kind of illegal sports supplement into an already accelerated life.
i am insanely blessed, and insanely lucky. i pray that i’ll always be aware of that.
for all intensive purposes, i’m spending less time here and more in copenhagen. follow that at this photo blog instead if you’d like.
as i sat down on a step on the playground, edward joined me, mumbling some horrible blend of spanish, english, and anxiety. the child believed in always being it no matter the circumstance in duck duck goose and never managed to understand the basic principles of the birthday game, yet he found some incredible resolve in making the most subtle of physical contact with me. i repeatedly attached and removed the velrco laces from his shoe, drawing out an incredible laugh from a visibly absent face. i hadn’t much to say, but he compensated with a jumbled narrative that seemed to explain without words his struggle with something far greater than i have ever dealt with. sure enough a teacher came over to me and explained that edward was about to be diagnosed with autism, and my heart broke.
after she walked away, edward looked at me, smiled, and grabbed my hand. this preschooler with virtually no english skills (and thus no understanding of the conversation that just took place), despite any circumstance or language barrier, didn’t care for anything other than the fact that, for the duration of an hour, someone sat down with him. and this 21 year old with virtually no spanish skills (and thus no understanding of our conversations), despite any circumstance or language barrier, didn’t care for anything other than the fact that, for the duration of an hour, someone sat down with him.
edward, you just rocked my world.