vocal chords
i’ve always faced some predicament with the blogging world-
being that i don’t know what my cyber voice should sound like, or what connection it even bears to what i’m thinking. nearly every post leaves some bitter taste in my mouth. it’s probably too serious. too introspective and philosophical. or its too vague. too irrelevant. too i-thought-this-was-a-cool-picture.
not that those modes are bad or anything, i would find myself a lot less curious with other’s lives if i couldn’t experience those pieces of their posts. i just don’t know where i stand. it all seems too forced. so i don’t know how often i might write in this. only when it feels authentic. which, to be honest, isn’t a lot of the time (though the subject matter usually is).
on a lighter note, copenhagen is happening. it’s a strange experience, this whole approach. it’s maddening, because i want it to happen, but i feel it makes everything else feel so awkward. this was a beautiful year, but i feel some many things were sullied because of the semi-ridiculous // semi-logical assumption that i would not be the most connected person because of my foriegn // fowler itinerary. watching the sails not catch any wind from the shore is a horrible thing, especially when based purely on assumptions. for that, i’m afraid copenhagen will cement and proliferate those paranoias.
i was busy this year, and i will be far away the next. fowler didn’t get in the way of my relationships, and a fucking ocean won’t do that come fall. don’t assume that it will. to be frank, its a cop out to assume it will, and its been disappointing to watch some think that it does. i love you all. don’t think any less of it.
